Dealing with Directionlessness

The feeling of being out of control and out of ideas is all consuming. It hurts. All any of us want is to feel in control of where we’re going. But that’s not the truth that most of us live. Most of us get into a space where we feel like we’re just treading water.

Where To Start:

If you want to feel some control over where you’re going, take a deep breath. In fact, take a couple until that ruddy earthquake in your head quells. Open your mouth, pop your eardrums, wiggle your eyebrows. Get out of your head and get into reality for a second.

If you want to have control of what’s happening around you, you first have to have control of yourself. This is going to be hard. But this is the first step in finding any direction. Your body has needs that you have to tend to first. You have to eat well, sleep well, find a hygienic rhythm if you want any success externally. If not, all of your strives forward will be marred with sickness and unhappiness.

Don’t Find a Direction, Create a Direction:

To reestablish your path, remember why you’re doing any of this. There’s a reason. There’s something you love that keeps you going. If you don’t know what it is yet, find it. It’s out there. Prioritize it. It is the most important thing in your life, undoubtedly. Tangibly incorporate it in your life’s directions.

Establish long term goals around your prioritized element. What do you want to achieve related to this element? Are there places you want to go, things you want to build? These aren’t going to be the same in the next few years...but that’s not the point. The point is to give you some direction. Your life is like an adventure game, where every time you complete one task, there’s another waiting and a side quest and some new DLC and a really difficult boss battle. It quickly becomes overwhelming if you don’t know where to start and stop.

Now Get Detailed:

Personally, I find splitting things up into seasons to be the easiest method. Seasons are less intimidating than years, but more substantial than months. So what are your seasonal goals? What’s your main quest this season? What side quests do you want to do? What villains do you really need to watch out for?

Getting all of these ideas down will help you remember what you wanted to accomplish and not continue flip-flopping all over the place. I would write mine on a large poster or 18x24 Newsprint sheet. If you’re like me, you should have a few of these available for when you get new ideas of goals. New ideas need to be seperated from what you’re currently doing. Trying to do too much will lead to frustration and failure in the long run.

Also, be patient with yourself. You probably think you need to figure it out right now. But you don’t. Urgency is a double edged sword. Sure, it will help you get things done, but it will also make you anxious about getting everything done right now. But you’re smart, hardworking, creative. You don’t need to prove yourself. So just relax, let yourself fall into a natural pace.